IDENTIFY YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF: BEYOND DESIRES, ROLES AND SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS
Feb 13, 2024IDENTIFYING THE REAL YOU
Understanding your true self means going deeper than what society focuses on. Your original design—the real you—isn't affected by your relationships, your stuff, your roles, or even how you identify sexually. These are external parts of your experience, but they don’t define your essence.
It can be tricky when we begin to confuse those outer layers with who we truly are. The way you identify, the people around you, what you own, or how you “show up” in society can shape your experience, but they’re not your identity. And when we blur the line, we get distracted, detoured, and discouraged—unable to walk in alignment with who God actually created us to be.
RECOGNIZING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND ESSENCE
Your original design—your Kingdom identity—is about your core values, your innate wiring, and the purpose God placed in you before you were ever born. That part of you doesn’t change. It’s not up for debate or negotiation.
Acknowledging the difference between what you experience and who you are will give you freedom. And that freedom is what every Kingdom mom and builder needs if we’re going to fully step into impact—in our homes, with our families, and in business.
You’re not the roles you fill. You’re not defined by motherhood, your marriage, your following, or your bank account. You’re a daughter of God first—and everything else flows from there.
DIFFERENTIATING WHAT IS YOU FROM WHAT IS NOT
Peeling back the layers that don’t belong is part of the process. It’s messy. It requires the Holy Spirit. But it leads to clarity.
You’ll have to sort through what culture told you, what family modeled for you, and what trauma taught you… then ask God, “What’s actually from You?”
When you do this, you’ll begin to feel something shift: less confusion, more peace. Less striving, more flow. That’s because you’re coming home to yourself—your real self. And only God can introduce you to her.
NOW, ENVISION THE PROCESS OF STRIPPING AWAY THESE LAYERS
Think of your identity like layers of clothing. Each layer might represent a title, a status, a relationship, or a label. When you take them off one by one, you get closer to the truest version of yourself.
That “naked” version of you—the one not dressed up in external validation—is the masterpiece God originally designed. She’s not lacking. She’s not missing anything. She’s powerful, worthy, whole.
This is how we build for the Kingdom. Not with trends and templates—but with truth.
METAPHORICAL NAKEDNESS
This place of full authenticity may feel vulnerable, but it is rich in clarity. It’s where your purpose gets revealed. It’s where motherhood becomes mission and business becomes Kingdom assignment.
Even if you stripped away every relationship, every attraction, every platform or possession—your essence would still be standing. Because you are not what surrounds you. You are who God designed you to be.
And that truth? It’s where real rest and impact begin.
HERE ARE FIVE ELEMENTS TO CONSCIOUSLY REMOVE FROM THE EQUATION AS YOU SEEK TO IDENTIFY YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF:
Relationships and Social Roles:
You are more than a mom, wife, friend, or leader. These are assignments—but they are not the sum total of you. Learn to see who you are without the hats you wear.
Sexual Identity:
God made you in His image. Your desires or orientation are not your identity. Your spirit, your calling, your divine design—that’s the foundation. Even if you think you know who you are, you should Ask God to show you.
Material Possessions and Wealth:
Wealth is a tool, not a definition. You are not more valuable when you have more. Your value was established before you ever earned a dollar.
Career Success and Titles:
Kingdom builders don’t chase clout. They build with conviction. Your purpose is bigger than a business card or a title on your resume.
Physical Appearance:
Yes, you were fearfully and wonderfully made. But beauty is a byproduct—not a prerequisite—for worth. Don’t let the outer distract you from the inner.
Social Media Persona:
The version of you the world sees is only meaningful if it matches the version God designed. Don’t settle for highlight reels when He’s trying to give you wholeness.
THE INVITATION
If you want to live and build with Kingdom impact—in your motherhood, in your message, in your mission—you must return to the One who created your blueprint.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern between what’s real and what’s residue. Let Him guide you into freedom, not performance. And watch what happens when you begin building from your authentic foundation.
Because the real you? She was never lost. Just buried under layers that weren’t yours to carry.
xo, QianaNicole
Understanding your true self means going deeper than what society focuses on. Your original design—the real you—isn't affected by your relationships, your stuff, your roles, or even how you identify sexually. These are external parts of your experience, but they don’t define your essence.
It can be tricky when we begin to confuse those outer layers with who we truly are. The way you identify, the people around you, what you own, or how you “show up” in society can shape your experience, but they’re not your identity. And when we blur the line, we get distracted, detoured, and discouraged—unable to walk in alignment with who God actually created us to be.
RECOGNIZING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND ESSENCE
Your original design—your Kingdom identity—is about your core values, your innate wiring, and the purpose God placed in you before you were ever born. That part of you doesn’t change. It’s not up for debate or negotiation.
Acknowledging the difference between what you experience and who you are will give you freedom. And that freedom is what every Kingdom mom and builder needs if we’re going to fully step into impact—in our homes, with our families, and in business.
You’re not the roles you fill. You’re not defined by motherhood, your marriage, your following, or your bank account. You’re a daughter of God first—and everything else flows from there.
DIFFERENTIATING WHAT IS YOU FROM WHAT IS NOT
Peeling back the layers that don’t belong is part of the process. It’s messy. It requires the Holy Spirit. But it leads to clarity.
You’ll have to sort through what culture told you, what family modeled for you, and what trauma taught you… then ask God, “What’s actually from You?”
When you do this, you’ll begin to feel something shift: less confusion, more peace. Less striving, more flow. That’s because you’re coming home to yourself—your real self. And only God can introduce you to her.
NOW, ENVISION THE PROCESS OF STRIPPING AWAY THESE LAYERS
Think of your identity like layers of clothing. Each layer might represent a title, a status, a relationship, or a label. When you take them off one by one, you get closer to the truest version of yourself.
That “naked” version of you—the one not dressed up in external validation—is the masterpiece God originally designed. She’s not lacking. She’s not missing anything. She’s powerful, worthy, whole.
This is how we build for the Kingdom. Not with trends and templates—but with truth.
METAPHORICAL NAKEDNESS
This place of full authenticity may feel vulnerable, but it is rich in clarity. It’s where your purpose gets revealed. It’s where motherhood becomes mission and business becomes Kingdom assignment.
Even if you stripped away every relationship, every attraction, every platform or possession—your essence would still be standing. Because you are not what surrounds you. You are who God designed you to be.
And that truth? It’s where real rest and impact begin.
HERE ARE FIVE ELEMENTS TO CONSCIOUSLY REMOVE FROM THE EQUATION AS YOU SEEK TO IDENTIFY YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF:
Relationships and Social Roles:
You are more than a mom, wife, friend, or leader. These are assignments—but they are not the sum total of you. Learn to see who you are without the hats you wear.
Sexual Identity:
God made you in His image. Your desires or orientation are not your identity. Your spirit, your calling, your divine design—that’s the foundation. Even if you think you know who you are, you should Ask God to show you.
Material Possessions and Wealth:
Wealth is a tool, not a definition. You are not more valuable when you have more. Your value was established before you ever earned a dollar.
Career Success and Titles:
Kingdom builders don’t chase clout. They build with conviction. Your purpose is bigger than a business card or a title on your resume.
Physical Appearance:
Yes, you were fearfully and wonderfully made. But beauty is a byproduct—not a prerequisite—for worth. Don’t let the outer distract you from the inner.
Social Media Persona:
The version of you the world sees is only meaningful if it matches the version God designed. Don’t settle for highlight reels when He’s trying to give you wholeness.
THE INVITATION
If you want to live and build with Kingdom impact—in your motherhood, in your message, in your mission—you must return to the One who created your blueprint.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern between what’s real and what’s residue. Let Him guide you into freedom, not performance. And watch what happens when you begin building from your authentic foundation.
Because the real you? She was never lost. Just buried under layers that weren’t yours to carry.
xo, QianaNicole
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